Trusting the process and other stories...

 Maybe I'm meant to be a rich housewife living in Beverly hills, married to an athlete or a rich business man or whatever.. Bc what in the dollar economy is this?! I'm writing this with so much anxiety because my phone is faulty, the front face is literally detaching from the back and if I'm not careful, it's gonna fall on my face! God of gadgets really need to locate me bc I can't remember the last time I had a good phone. (A phone that doesn't have a problem, Ok I made it worse but you get it, right?) I was at the supermarket the other day and I was talking to myself the whole time bc I couldn't understand how expensive things are!I still haven't gotten over the fact that salt prices hiked in like a million years, I get that this is where we're at, but I could be listening or watching something then it hits me, 'chumvi imepanda' and I can't stop but think about where we're headed ? I 'accidentally' passed by the  isle that has baby products and thought to myself how glad I am for not being anybody's mama yet, bc tampons and pads already cost an arm and a leg, how then do I add diapers and cereals and what  not  to the cart without 'making a face 😅'? Those telling me( nimechelewa sijui nipate ata kamoja 🙄🙄 )I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering how we got here; 1000 bob is now basically 200 bob.. I saw a meme that said how the economy was waiting for us to grow up so that it could be phacked up or something along those lines. Maybe I'm allowed to complain. The reason I'm writing this is because I recently listened to the latest episode of my favorite podcast; IRIP and they were talking about being broke and it really got me thinking.. I'd have had  a lot to say about that, unfortunately, mainly bc I've been broke half my life. Almost all my life at different levels. The ironic part is that I've been working almost all my life.. My first job was immediately after high school, I worked as a secretary/computer studies teacher in my former primary school where I earned 4000 per month. That was a lot for me and every mid-month I'd go to the accounts to request for an advance. I'm embarrassed to say that most of that money was spent on snacks and I'd actually struggle to buy sanitary towels or even get my hair done. That job taught me a bit of responsibility though because my mom vowed never to wake me up in the morning. I was working literally five minutes from home but managed to get late every single day, I was even summoned by the HR one time. I had to wear official attire and since I had none, I had to borrow a few skirts from mom, I looked exactly how you think, horrible. I've learnt to always have a piece or two of official clothes in my wardrobe regardless of where I'm working. I thought that I would save a few coins before going to Uni, but I went to Uni broke. Uni was a whole different experience for me, I was really looking forward to it but no one had mentioned how broke one could get. I was responsible for the food I ate, clothes and even rent. I had to print out notes and cats while still balancing a social life. It was tough, There were days I had to forego lunch (chipo chafu at our students Center) so I could afford rice ndengu for dinner. It wasn't all bad, there were a few times where I could afford  ugali matumbo after helping out a classmate with his assignment. On days where foregoing was not an option I'd call my friend Bobo who'd buy me lunch and she would call me when she had nothing. Ilikuwa kusaidiana..I had to do something. The big thing back then and even now for some was academic writing, but my friend told me that I couldn't hack that. I believed it, so I started applying for jobs and had my first interview just before the semester came to an end. We had low budget parties with some of my friends in between the semester and towards the end and I remember that particular interview day we had a 'party' at Mbotela. I put together an official outfit and wore my blazer that I later tossed  after it became my 'bad luck blazer ' moja kwa moja hadi Valley road. I didn't know what the job was about before, it was a sales job that I didn't get because of the obvious reason I had zero experience. I felt sad about the job but kinda proud of my self for showing up. A few days later I got a call from a friend who asked if I was available for a job at junction mall and I was game. We were selling Airtel lines, phones and getting people to sing for Trace music or something. I loved it.. Yes, the kind of jobs where people sell lines pale town, but luckily for me I was based in universities and the Malls.. It was a nice job, despite the very early mornings and the constant nos. I mastered really nice sales skills that I even continued selling the lines after the project was over. All I remember after that was the 10000 interviews I attended for similar roles, and I even managed to get some promo jobs. They were okay apart from the salary delays and crazy targets. In second year I thought it would be nice for me to get an attachment instead so that I could gain some professional skills.. I accompanied my friend Wanjiku all the way to Lavington for an interview. We had learnt of  the company through a food expo that we had attended at KICC while we were still in session. Hee, the ambitions back then. The interview was quite long, for an attachment but I later got the call that I had gotten the job. I'm not sure if I was excited but I did confirm availability. I later changed my mind because how the hell was I going to commute from Kahawa West to Lavington everyday, no lunch and no salary? I was B for broke. They called me to remind me that I had missed my first day, I apologized and told them that I had gotten another attachment close to home. A day later I went back to my promo jobs. I had my own fair share of challenges while working those jobs, I almost got chased away for talking too much, for not talking too much, for protecting my stock, for not protecting my stock enough and for wearing the wrong type of shoes a certain time when my black doll shoes were stolen while I babysitting in Githurai. Its actually true about what they say about Githu 45. The cheque was always good but it didn't quite last. I then remembered of a great opportunity a certain guy had told me while I was working at Nakumatt lifestyle selling  Airtel lines. That day was my lucky day, I met one of my uncle's there, we caught up for a while and he left me 150 bob for lunch. Then I sold a line to this guy who in turn sold me an opportunity of a lifetime. I bought into the story and because I didn't want to buy a Maybach alone, I sold the story to my friend Wanjiku. Moja kwa moja hadi The Serena hotels for a seminar. We left the place feeling super inspired only to realize that it was a pyramid scheme a while later. We were too broke to even afford  the cheapest package. We however got some really nice goodies, some coffee mochas and lattes to go.  That was not going to work. So I did a little bit of article writing and decided to venture into business since promos were not giving any more. I got a few survey jobs, these were the best apart from the part where I had  to be at my place of work at 03000hrs. The compensation was good though short lived. I did the clerk job at IEBC in my third going fourth year. Graduation came and the real hassle now began. I saved a few coins from the grad party and my cousin and I  started a rice business in Nairobi which bit us at the back; after a while, we started a branding company and invested all the money there only to get disappointed. We ended up wearing some of the merch and gave away some. We went into Gikomba and started selling tops, bras and even shoes and because we had more problems than the money could solve we ended up 'chewing' the stock money. We opened a YouTube channel and I chickened out last minute because my insecurities were so loud at that time, we opened a website and even wrote a few articles that never saw the light of day. One day my sister mentioned that the only thing I haven't tried was a salon business but she was wrong because I had already learnt how to do hair and even made my cousin's hair like twice. That was hard!! After struggling for so long, I packed my bags and went back home, I did the census gig and that  time I was getting so depressed. I needed a job. I had been labeled Queen of interviews in my family, and I didn't like it one bit. Out of desperation, I accepted my first job in my line of profession at the slopes of Mount Kenya and that's a whole different story. I quit my job and ventured into farming. My friend Lucy and I invested all our life's savings into a whole acre and planted about 5000 cabbages. I could see myself buying a Toyota Rush after like three seasons. Lo and behold! You think mapenzi can give you a character development, trying farming folks! You'd think I learnt my lesson but I was in Narok this year end of January to look for land. lol. After that whole experience I packed my bags and left that area without looking back, and back to business. I did a few things here and there (not worth mentioning) because how much can one person do? My friend the other day day said that I carry so much trauma for all the hustling that I've done. So back to being broke, I am allowed to complain because I'm still doing all the heavy lifting.. but to what end? This whole experience may have influenced my mindset and until recently I've always had the scarcity mindset. I've always been so frugal but now, when I'm learning about the abundance mindset things are so expensive. I'm learning to operate from an abundance mindset but then when I go to my mama mboga and a quarter cabbage goes for 40bob, a cup of githeri for 50 bob, I'll definitely complain. It's crazy out here... I'm not sure how  how long the situation will remain like this, I'm consoled by people in foreign countries that it's a whole global economic crisis (Si Kenya pekee), but even then, when things get better and I get an opportunity to be a rich housewife, imma take it. Sis is tired!

Peace!