Feelings.

I was in a super metro on the Saturday morning of 11/03/023 on my way to work and there was a very beautiful playlist, 90s RnBs that I grew up listening to.. a playlist by DJ lytta who btw I knew at a personal level for a minute when we were living next-door in their tiplo pale kayole. The playlist took me back, and I was smiling at every song and even sang along to some.. I'm not a Beyoncé fan but 'irreplaceable' is a timelines hit. I always thought it's title was 'To the left ' lol..I have a beautiful memory of it, it was released when I was either in class 5 or 6 and my friend Sue was absolutely mad in love with it. she was cool and I remember how her face lit up when she sang every single word.. and wacha niseme Sue alinichanua,  Another favorite one is 'When I see you' by fantasia and it has been my ringtone for a year now. Aston Martin reminds me that the sky is not even the limit. The  feeling was nostalgic.. I remember being a very happy kid growing up, book smart and a rebel in my teen years. But I was happy. If I could go back, I'd do some things differently but one thing I know for sure is that I'd enjoy being a kid more, and not waste even a single minute wondering when the hell I'll ever grow up. That was a very beautiful day. I was going to work, then later travel home. Being an adult can be crazy. I had such a bad day the previous day, I had just received some devastating news from home and I literally felt my heart crumble. The feeling was anger, overwhelmed and mostly despair. I went to my neighbors house downstairs and had a moment there since I couldn't stand being in my own house. See, in this dollar economy, everyone is going through something and people have their own ish..but I'm so blessed to have my cousin who always has a minute for me. No matter what she's going through, she never puts me on hold, so I talked to her. I'm a crier and that's okay, because there's no judgement there. I had the feeling of a heavy weight lifted. I felt heard and cared for. After being in it for a while, I decided to have my hair done, went to the salon and got some lines installed. A good hair do always manages to lift your spirits but boy, this one was terrible. Of all the days. The feeling was disappointment.. complaining wouldn't have done much, I did it anyway and left, swore to myself that she'll never see me again! Back to Saturday, I was super excited to go home. I'm always super excited to go home. I attended church on Sunday and it was everything I needed. My friend had invited me for her son's dedication that Sunday, and it hit me  that I'm now at an age where such functions will increase among my peers; weddings, baby showers etc.. And I can't attach any specific feeling to what I felt at that time. I know I felt responsible. And an adult, the feeling of being a full blown adult. I left the church feeling so hopeful and positive. Mostly Peaceful. I came back a more optimistic person than I was when I was leaving for home. I'm still a full-blown adult, with responsibilities and expectations. An adult who has a whole lot of life ahead. More feelings to be felt. It might not be as smooth sailing as I would love, but I know for sure that I'll appreciate every single moment. And feel every feeling. Above all, I'll pull through.

The World is my oyster!

Peace!

(As I'm wrapping this up, I'm in a very old and slow matatu, feeling all sorts of disappointments because I always almost manage to pick the wrong matatu, I pray that I'll pick the right partner when the time comes lol, oh and I'm very sick-ish)