An Ossobuco story

I came across ossobuco back in 2018 when I was interning at JKIA. I don't remember exactly what it looked like but I remember that name clearly. I also remember  trying to wrap my head around the fact that there's a part in animals called ossobuco. I forgot about it and came across that exact name this year around July when my friend Jojo brought me some nyama. So when I cooked it the following day I sent her a picture, to show her what she was missing and she told me 'babe aki inakaa ossobuco '. Oh okay, so that's how ossobuco looks like, and tastes like? Great. 

Some time last month, I was meeting up with my friend Nyams and after a few errands, we was starving! Now, the thing with  us is that we're very poor decision-makers while we're together and after going in rounds allover town she remembered there's a coastal place along Moi Avenue that sells some nice biriyani.  Y'all know Coast restaurants and their portions 😅.

Sasa, shawry couldn't remember the exact location and so we wasted another kitu 20 minutes trying to locate it. We got there around 1930hrs and we were so glad to finally have a rest! Phew! Miguu ilikuwa inawaka.

The waitress comes, at this point we know what we want, we don't even need the menu. ' Tunataka biriyani ' The waitress looked at us and told us that biriyani is only served on Fridays and that we should hurry, 'tuko karibu kufunga' Oh No, decision making again!! I scan through the menu and I see 'ossobuco'. My face lit up, especially since I had made ossobuco some months ago and it was really nice. 'Hun, ossobuco huwa tamu! Plus it's really affordable '

The waitress at this time was already fed up,it was around 1945hrs or so and she needed to go home. The restaurant was almost empty and the people around had already finished their meals. 

A few minutes later, ossobuco comes. Wueh wacheni niwashow guys, 'Hun, hii ndio ossobuco?' she asked me.. 'Wueh!Wueh!at this point we were 'wuehing' at 64 wuehs per second while dying of laughter at the same time cuz what is this? Immediately I try to defend myself saying that the ossobuco I made wasn't like this and I honestly don't know what that was. The waitress knew in that instant that we ordered something we had never seen. That thing about expectations guys. The waitress literally told us to hurry up the minute she brought our food, as if the osubucco thingie wasn't scary enough? No, I think disappointment is the word. Maybe both. Between explaining myself to Nyambu and the waitress looking at us with the 'get the hell out of here now' look there was no way I could have possibly enjoyed the meal.

I tried eating as fast as I could, at this point Nyams was full (kuharakishwa plus the portions), but calmly told me to take my time and that the customer is the most important person in the business. 'Hakuna kitu wanaweza fanya'. Nikarelax, besides I couldn't risk being choked by osubucco. Ningeambia watu nini surely? Nyams decides to use the washrooms as she waits for me to finish,we were the only remaining customers at this point. Guys, don't overestimate your value in some places, especially not in these 'coastal-ish' businesses because when I tell you that those guys switched off the lights on me, you'll think that am on crack! The temerity! Na nikama nimeanza show off 😅Nyams comes to me worried 'Kwani wamezima stima?' It wasn't funny anymore, a guy came to us and told us that 'tutafungiwa'. I cant explain how we got out of there in a split second, very full, angry, shocked, and very disappointed!

Oh and as if that was not enough.....

(Stay tuned for part two)

Thank God for the dictionary, I just learnt its ossobuco and not osubucco!lol I was pronouncing it even worse,Kikuyu accent and all! Safe to say I don't think I'll need to say that name ever again, at least not out loud. 

Until then, avoid ossobuco,or not, also, whoever was doing the naming thing was really out of it, because ossobuco really?